Let’s all wish for a better tmr… Tryin to break da transition!
After so long…comin face2face with Lucky again. Well she finally realized that all she ever asked for was so simple. Yet it has been so difficult to achieve all these while. She finally realized that dreams r always hard to be achieved. There was once she thought everything could be beautiful da way it is. Well…not at all. Still searching for da missing white rose in winter, I’m comin back to da point of origin. All she ever wanted was a simple life, a simple dream. Yet she wishes for da same thing till this day. She never changed, but you forced me to leave. I will try to live da way I am, and I’ll start wishing for a better tomorrow.
This is a night that i cant see.
After so long… it’s yet so hard for me 2 come back,
to break da unwanted silence.
But diz is juz da way i hate it.
B4 i lost my breath,
I’m gonna fake a sunrise, perhaps.
Yes i hate every single sunset n cloudiness i was given.
You will not see da tears that bleed.
You will never.
I thot he’d be da one that sees me.
But he’s not.
She’s right, God is fair to everybody.
B4 i leave, i have some words.
Still i never expect this to happen,
since da first time i met you.
Still i remember, da first time i heard you singing for me.
Every little thing i did,
was for you n only you.
Did you actly see it?
Shall i continue this path.
I moke on my own.
After all i’m still alone.
“A rhyme i heard so heavenly”
Will i ever hear it again?
“That was very sweet. It is replaying in me and keep me wondering.” N that is what kept me going till this day.
As long you remember me in this life,
everyhtin i had shall b engraved in da insignificance of me.
Still i believe that i’m sorta present in ur being.
Though it might be evanescent enough.
I appreciate till da last day of my life.
Whatever that takes you in da future,
i wish da best ahead of you.
And i wanna thank you for every precious moment that touched my innermost.
And for every adorable question you threw on me,
i juz like them so much.
From da very first day onwards,
we’re gonna embark on our very own journey.
Perhaps i will not be able to see you again, and juz how great you will be as you always do.
Still i want happiness to be arround you,
and thats gonna help out a broken being like me.
Yes that’s all i’ll be asking for.
Blossoms for evry morning of yours, and sweet dreams for evry cold night you might have.
True smiles on your face, and true laughters that can brighten stressful days of yours.
Shedding da heavy masque and learn da authentic you, if that makes you happier.
I wish angels fall upon you, and bless you with genuine touch.
And will i be able to finish what i wish to say to you?
True, was it all that easy to juz put aside your feelings?
And how well you have been taking care of my feelings,
if and only if you felt it too.
Still i believe you did.
As long da river flows,
da lost soul of mine will continue its journey.
I never see da sun that shines.
And i believe i will never, forever.
Juz for once, will i be given da chance?
yes ther’s diz hatred i held to you.
For evry single word you gave me was purely part of da joke,
which is ” A vow i treat so seriously”.
Still I’m seeking DA route endlessly.
Yet it’s juz a dream, after all.
“I will never forget the strength you have to bring me da sun.”
Oh i juz realized that i never see da sun that shines.
“The sun is hot, in the sky, juz like a giant spotlight;
and people follow da sign, and synchronize in time;
it’s a joke, nobody knows, they’ve got a ticket to da show.”
Still i cant figure it out.
But ther’s simply no more reason,
to give myself a reason.
Ntg’s gonna heal this,
for all da disappointments i got, all these years.
I’m coming to da end, of this very precious n memorable ride.
My bottles r empty, and i shall put myself to sleep.
Allow my silence. It’s a transition, still.
Da last day of my 21st,
recording down da voices from within
But what’s there to stay in mind,
while everything seems fragile?
I could be da clown in these,
while illussions drown in me
On and on, relentlessness is what I see
Not heard and not seen,
foolishness am I called?
Through da haze and maze,
emptiness do I deserve?
Unspoken are yet untold,
silence shall I go on?
Yes I’ll keep going
and you will not find da real hues in me
This is given by da petals
before da sun sets down
But da world will drown with me when da light ebbs
and can’t you see everything is a mere joke?
~ That was very sweet. It is replaying in me and keep me wondering. But I’ll put an end to it. As I shall stay just here. Inconceivable…forever ~
A vow I treat so seriously
A rhyme I heard so heavenly
A route I seek endlessly
A dream I saw finally
Tell me if I’m wrong
Lead me if I’m lost
My dreams are my prayers
Love me as I’m home
Now that I know how far you have gone,
Was it the way I am or the way I care.
Still I wonder again and again,
When it slipped through our fingers.
I’m sorry if I have not been right.
But there is nothing in this world,
That’s gonna make me complete again.
Coz you don’t understand me anymore,
You’ve forgotten who you used to know.
And it’s just hard for me to go on,
Coz I’m still lingering on yesterdays,
The days you made me believe in fairy tales.
If this is the end of our song,
Remember that it has once been beautiful.
And I’ll dedicate the stars in heaven to you,
As long they are twinkling,
You’ll be glowing in me.
Thanks for making me believed while I was down,
And I’ll never believe again coz now I know.
Nothing can heal this pain,
It will go on as long the heaven stars shine.
Even till now I’m wondering,
Am I done with what I wanna say.
There are million miles that I wanted to go,
With you and only you.
Sorry that I can’t find anymore reason,
And there’s no more strength in me.
I know you’ll get higher without me,
And you’ll fly to be all that you want.
All that’s left for me to do,
Is to bless you in songs and rhymes,
For all the days to come in my life.
But our beautiful song has been broken,
By you and me.
Have been wondering whether to post this. Dashes seem to invade relentlessly.. Unspoken words will never be comprehended. Be it da fluctuations, be it da silent whispers; they shall all be taken back.
Came across this & i would like 2 share:
“Each of us has an inner compass. Its voice calls us to our highest good……
I do not grasp at straws when the reality is difficult but clear. Instead, I released the past, bless it and turn with resolution to the future. I listen to the dictates of my conscience, knowing that its voice calls me home……
Today, I place my humbled heart in universal care, asking for healing and direction.”
Allow my silence. It’s a transition.
Another 30 mins to be February 2009, i decided to write again… Da feelings i have in me right now is indescribable. I would say i was going through some kinda transition – a phase to adjust everything in me – which is why i couldnt write about myself –even until now. And i’m still tip-toe-ing through it at this moment…Perhaps it’s already leading to da end…or when would all these end? I thought i have it all…?
It was all about choices and decisions in life… and of coz, new acquaintances. My new job gives new insights and new perspectives into my life, directly and indirectly. And people around me made me believe that it’s a closer step to my once so-called ambitious dream. I need to take all da time i have now to live da life i want, and to find a very important answer – an answer to my life. No matter how long da journey is gonna take, i’m gonna look for it.
It’s me with a tree aged more than 500 yrs (we guess) in Malacca… taken by a very good friend + colleague of mine – Jewei. I’m gonna take this opportunity to thank him again for all da support he has been giving me all these while. And not just that, we have also met another great working partner in astronomy- Daniel. Of coz, there is also someone i’m deeply glad that i met throughout this journey – Ai Lee. Although we have different paths to be taken, we indeed believe there are some dreams to be pursued together, and i’m truly looking forward to it.
As for my special one, Ashok: i tot my questions about da world are simple… but as i go on with you, more and more questions that i’m looking for answers… Perhaps life is just a blind journey, but that’s not da journey i’m seeking… I have sth for you here :
” We tend to think of the rational as a higher order, but it is the emotional that makes our lives. One often learns more from ten days of agony than from ten years of contentment.” – Merle Shain -
Hate me for repeating da same mistakes over and over again in life…I shall see wisdom falling upon me when da right day comes…Till then i’ll love you with da flares left in me…but perhaps emptiness is what i deserve, as i said.
Goodnight everyone, and let’s cherish da next dawn together. I’ll proceed with my journey for answers; as you proceed with da journey you want, too. Though there could be no answer for me after all.